Affirming my choice to be happy, I got a package today! I've been waiting for the package Redwood sent me for a few weeks now and it's finally here! I was surprised how quickly it brought me to tears just knowing that people put together a box for me, and it was so much better after I opened it! There was a tape recorder with the Redwood kids singing Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, and America the Beautiful. There was also a DVD with a video of them and I got to see my sister! That was quite exciting! Just hearing them talk brought me back to the feeling that I was home. I also got some amazing food and cool stuff that my kids will love. It's just what I needed after a long, rainy day.
Though were not doing a skit, my kids and I practiced singing today because they have chapel on Wednesday. After Bible I attempted to teach them counting money in math, but some kids really can't see that a quarter and nickel are NOT the same size! After Math they had Palauan so I got a break! After running up to the apartment to grab breakfast, I just sat in the gym and stared out at the kids playing. They are all so happy and stress free. I really love the kids here. Every time they see me they scream "Hi Miss Chelsea!" or run to give me a hug. Weather it's a kindergartner, 3rd grader, or even an 8th grader, they still make time to say hi and give you a smile. After that my kids came out of Palauan and they had recess and PE. For once, no one got hurt in kickball! One boy cried, but you can't win them all. After PE, I realized that unfortunately, my AC was not working today. Luckily, it was what the kids consider a "cold day". They all came to school in heavy jackets and boots. There was MAYBE a light breeze and it was a rainy 80 degrees. I laughed to think of what they would do in Washington. The other annoying thing about the rain is that my roof leaks right over my desk! Too bad today the grades folder was in that spot...oh well. At least it wasn't my computer. Anyway, we started phonics in a AC-less classroom and then spelling. Lunch time! The best time of the day! Not really...but I got a nice hot pocket from my Palauan mom and my kids didn't spill any food! Did I ever mention that I got two new kids? Daichi and Ivan came last week, and so far so good, so that's a blessing!
After lunch I gave them a quick recess before starting social studies where we drew pictures of animals in the forest. Then we did reading and dreaded skilpack. I only gave them one page today, but it still took them 20 minutes. Then they had their last recess to get all their energy out! Some girls from 2B came over and we had piggy back time! Then we went in and did handwriting, and a long language assignment! They complained, but they all got it done and did it's correctly. I had them read science in their heads and quizzed them before they could clean up to go home. Then I went into the gym to do PE for Tami's 6th grade class. They didn't want to play soccer, but eventually started playing after I promised free time later. A few of them just came and sat beside me and we talked about life and stuff that I could never talk to my 7 year olds about. It was really fun and they even asked me to be their teacher! I think it was a joke...
As I write this all it seems like my day was so short, but it was not at all. Even though I enjoy what I'm doing, it still does not go by as quickly as I would like. On the up side, the package came and I even cooked myself dinner. Usually I just have some crackers or juice, but today I made ramen. Don't laugh. I know it sounds weak, but I cut up meat and mixed it in and vegetables too. It was quite scrumptious. MOM, I ATE A VITAMIN. Just letting you know. Oh, another thing I'm excited for: my mom is coming here in 18 days! That is my fuel right now. Mom'scomingMom'scomingMom'scoming!
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Finally getting some pictures to upload!
yes, that's the real color of the water
my little angels :]
At the Milky Way :]
Legit face when a crab pinched me
Jellyfish Lake is amazing
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Where your treasure lies
Once again my doubts and fears are short lived. How could anyone be unhappy in Palau? I've come to the realization that my kids need me. Parent teacher conferences went so well and it was really helpful to hear all about my kid's backgrounds. I loved meeting their parents and hearing their thoughts. I even got a "thank-you" for being such a good teaching. It's nice to be appreciated. I've also realized what amazing friends I really do have. Though I'm not there with them this year, they make an effort to keep in touch and it honestly makes me happy. I'm having this amazing experience that's changing my life, and I know that it's meant to be. I feel that I am here for a reason, even if it's not what I wanted. I know why I'm here. God wants me to change someones life, but it might be someone who is SMing here instead of someone who was already here. It's funny how sometimes our purpose is right in front of us, and we try to force something that isn't right for us.
I've always been the kind of person who likes to know what's coming in the future. At this point, being a missionary is the greatest satisfaction with life I've ever had. I really love having this chance to do something for someone other than myself. I love getting to know new people that made the same decision as me. I love walking down the street and waving to people because the whole island knows me. I love jumping into the water in 90 degree weather and feeling the same temperature. Things work out. If I had never come here I wouldn't know how much I love education. I wouldn't have realized how much my view on America could change. Just living with two Europeans for a year has totally flipped my view on American and how other view us. It really changes priorities and I can see what has value and what is supposed to have value. People. Experiences. Lives. Those things are important.
I've always been the kind of person who likes to know what's coming in the future. At this point, being a missionary is the greatest satisfaction with life I've ever had. I really love having this chance to do something for someone other than myself. I love getting to know new people that made the same decision as me. I love walking down the street and waving to people because the whole island knows me. I love jumping into the water in 90 degree weather and feeling the same temperature. Things work out. If I had never come here I wouldn't know how much I love education. I wouldn't have realized how much my view on America could change. Just living with two Europeans for a year has totally flipped my view on American and how other view us. It really changes priorities and I can see what has value and what is supposed to have value. People. Experiences. Lives. Those things are important.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Alone in this fight with herself...
It's funny how sometimes you can feel completely right, like you're doing what you are meant to and other times it seems like making all the wrong decisions led to this place where you shouldn't be. I know that I need to be here in Palau. I've known since Sophomore year of high school, when I told my dad one day I'd go to Palau, that eventually I'd end up here. But as a missionary? What am I doing here? How is my small contribution doing anything at all for the people who live in Palau.
I'm being torn into. I have exactly half of me that has a sickening, sinking feeling that I made all the wrong decision. Maybe I shouldn't have broken up with my boyfriend. Maybe I shouldn't have taken a year off of school to come to a place that doesn't really need me. Maybe all my friends already forgot who I am. Maybe life goes on, weather or not I'm there. I feel so invisible. My sister turned 18 and I missed it. My friends are making new friends and I'm sure that I am just a lingering thought of the past. My life last year was perfect. I had great jobs, great friends, great boyfriend, and a great track for a great career. Now what do I have? I have 16 wide-eyed 2nd graders, the expectation of perfection, and uncertainty. Why did I give up my old life for this?
"Alone in this fight with herself, with the fears whispering If she stands, she'll fall down". This is what just played through my computer. I am battling myself because the other side of me is wrapped up in Palau. I am completely in love with everything about it. This is my home. I love the people, I love the weather, I love the island. As I told my dad when he came to visit, I feel that Palau is a little closer to Heaven than the rest of the world. Not literally, but there are so few distractions and so much more time for God. That also means that there is a lot more time alone with yourself.
I feel like I'm not doing enough. Should I be giving Bible studies? Should I volunteer to feed the poor? Why don't I feel like someones only hope for salvation? Why don't I feel like I'm needed?
I'm being torn into. I have exactly half of me that has a sickening, sinking feeling that I made all the wrong decision. Maybe I shouldn't have broken up with my boyfriend. Maybe I shouldn't have taken a year off of school to come to a place that doesn't really need me. Maybe all my friends already forgot who I am. Maybe life goes on, weather or not I'm there. I feel so invisible. My sister turned 18 and I missed it. My friends are making new friends and I'm sure that I am just a lingering thought of the past. My life last year was perfect. I had great jobs, great friends, great boyfriend, and a great track for a great career. Now what do I have? I have 16 wide-eyed 2nd graders, the expectation of perfection, and uncertainty. Why did I give up my old life for this?
"Alone in this fight with herself, with the fears whispering If she stands, she'll fall down". This is what just played through my computer. I am battling myself because the other side of me is wrapped up in Palau. I am completely in love with everything about it. This is my home. I love the people, I love the weather, I love the island. As I told my dad when he came to visit, I feel that Palau is a little closer to Heaven than the rest of the world. Not literally, but there are so few distractions and so much more time for God. That also means that there is a lot more time alone with yourself.
I feel like I'm not doing enough. Should I be giving Bible studies? Should I volunteer to feed the poor? Why don't I feel like someones only hope for salvation? Why don't I feel like I'm needed?
Friday, October 21, 2011
Battling the enemy
Sweat mixes with smell of fear as he prepares for battle. His tiny eyes assess the war zone. Though defeat is certain, a small, lingering thought of victory gives him hope. The plan is simple; pretend to be dead until the enemy felt comfortable, then attack. As he lays in wait, he thinks to himself how good his plan is. Though laying on his back exposes his most vital organs to the enemy, he is ready to flip in a moments notice. Staying still in one position so long is relaxing, and after a few minutes he drifts off to sleep. Then, the senses are pushed to the max all at once. Hearing:a piercing scream that threatens to deafen him from the start, rupturing his eardrums in an instant. Seeing: a stream of liquid pours down on him, filling his eyes and burning his sight away forever. Feeling: a flood so massive covering his body, so all he can do is writhe on the floor, trying to flip on to his stomach as he is plastered to the ground. Smelling: is nose is filled with liquid, causing his breath to sputter and stop suddenly. Tasting: the poisonous spray fills his mouth, lungs, and the rest of his body, trying to end him as quickly as possible. Though he should be dead, for the next five minutes he twitches and tries to move, causing the enemy to repeat the screaming and spraying cycle. The hard life of a cockroach.
For the past six days, each morning there has been a lone cockroach laying on our kitchen floor. We don't know why it happens every morning, and we don't know why there is always just one left behind. Though they appear dead, we spray them to be sure and always find that they are not. Comparatively, these cockroaches aren't as bad as the ones that sprint across our kitchen counters, hoping to get to safety before we spot them and destroy them. Ah, the life in Palau. In other news, yesterday our traditional Friday trip to Emimalea was slightly different than normal. After finishing with lunch, Tami and I left Ben and Jeanine so we could run over to the bakery and get some bread. While picking out what we wanted a man came and started talking to us. He was...very friendly. He asked about where we were from and once he heard San Francisco, proclaimed that he lived there for 20 years and loved the "city of love". At this point a VERY angry woman came out of the back room, and he introduced her as his wife. She promptly responded by punching him in the face as hard as she possibly could and stormed off. Then, after getting over our shock, we went to pay. Once we got to the counter there was a lady there, and she told us that she would pay for everything we wanted, and for us to get more stuff. Apparently she's a member of the Koror SDA church and just wanted to do something nice for us. It was cool!
Today, Saturday, was pathfinder sabbath at church. It was actually amazing what a great job they did, especially Jeff and Misty for leading it out. They have put so much work into the pathfinders, and you can see how it's changing the kids. There were probably 60 kids ready to be inducted into the pathfinder club. After church Tami and I went to PMA with the guys and got to hang out. It was lots of fun because Victor and Chris just got a new puppy! It's the most adorable thing I've ever seen! Her name is Novea. It was so fun playing with her, and she was just so cute! Then, one of my student Shayne, let me play with her puppy Choco. After Tami and I took a nap, and when we woke up, Austin had ANOTHER puppy. Where are they all coming from!? I decided that no matter what, I was keeping the puppy that Austin had, even though his tail got cut off. Poor puppy. Apparently me wanting to keep the puppy made Austin want to keep it too, so alas, I still have no puppy. Not to worry though, I will get one soon enough. I even got permission from Jeanine! I even already picked out a name...
For the past six days, each morning there has been a lone cockroach laying on our kitchen floor. We don't know why it happens every morning, and we don't know why there is always just one left behind. Though they appear dead, we spray them to be sure and always find that they are not. Comparatively, these cockroaches aren't as bad as the ones that sprint across our kitchen counters, hoping to get to safety before we spot them and destroy them. Ah, the life in Palau. In other news, yesterday our traditional Friday trip to Emimalea was slightly different than normal. After finishing with lunch, Tami and I left Ben and Jeanine so we could run over to the bakery and get some bread. While picking out what we wanted a man came and started talking to us. He was...very friendly. He asked about where we were from and once he heard San Francisco, proclaimed that he lived there for 20 years and loved the "city of love". At this point a VERY angry woman came out of the back room, and he introduced her as his wife. She promptly responded by punching him in the face as hard as she possibly could and stormed off. Then, after getting over our shock, we went to pay. Once we got to the counter there was a lady there, and she told us that she would pay for everything we wanted, and for us to get more stuff. Apparently she's a member of the Koror SDA church and just wanted to do something nice for us. It was cool!
Today, Saturday, was pathfinder sabbath at church. It was actually amazing what a great job they did, especially Jeff and Misty for leading it out. They have put so much work into the pathfinders, and you can see how it's changing the kids. There were probably 60 kids ready to be inducted into the pathfinder club. After church Tami and I went to PMA with the guys and got to hang out. It was lots of fun because Victor and Chris just got a new puppy! It's the most adorable thing I've ever seen! Her name is Novea. It was so fun playing with her, and she was just so cute! Then, one of my student Shayne, let me play with her puppy Choco. After Tami and I took a nap, and when we woke up, Austin had ANOTHER puppy. Where are they all coming from!? I decided that no matter what, I was keeping the puppy that Austin had, even though his tail got cut off. Poor puppy. Apparently me wanting to keep the puppy made Austin want to keep it too, so alas, I still have no puppy. Not to worry though, I will get one soon enough. I even got permission from Jeanine! I even already picked out a name...
Monday, October 17, 2011
I know it's been a while
I know as time goes on, my blogs are few and far between, but honestly there isn't much to share. Don't get me wrong, Palau is spectacualr. It's just repedative. Each day I wake up, go to school, go back home, eat lunch, tutor, and either go to basketball or church meetings. Life isn't exactly boring, but it's just predictable. This last weekend I decided to change that. Saturday after church and a nap, Jeanine, Tami, and I went with Austin to go surfing. Unfortunately it was too far away, so we ended up swimming in a channel nearby that one third grader informed me was sewage. Lovely. It was still fun, and quite refreshing. That evening, we decided to go out to eat at RIC which was a great time and only made better by our hyperness. Tami and I sprinted down the road singing "we are soldiers", "ain't no rock", and numerous other Christian songs. It was quite enjoyable. Needless to say, we were extremly awake and found ourselves sitting on my bed at 2 am not wanting to go to bed...we at least I didn't. I finally convinced them that we needed to go swimming. Because they're not needed, let's just skip the details of that evening and go on to the next morning.
After going to bed at 4 am, I thought I'd be able to sleep in on Sunday, but sadly this was not the case. I woke up at 7 and waited for Tami and Jeanine to wake up until noon! Then we tackeled the extremly hard task of cleaning our apartment. Let's just say that no human eyes should ever have to see that. It took us about 2 hours, but it was finally livable again. Then we went on a shopping excursion to Surangles and got some clothes! Lots of fun! I suppose we got other boring things like food, but no one wants to know about that. We also finalized our plans for Christmas break! Tami, Jeanine, Austin and I have decided to go to Manila! We originally wanted all the SM's to come with us, but most of the rest have plans. Carl even has his whole family coming to see him! Anyway, we decided that we wanted to go to Manila and started talking to a travel agent to work that out. I'm super excited because I've never been to the Philippiens before! It should be an adventure for sure.
After going to bed at 4 am, I thought I'd be able to sleep in on Sunday, but sadly this was not the case. I woke up at 7 and waited for Tami and Jeanine to wake up until noon! Then we tackeled the extremly hard task of cleaning our apartment. Let's just say that no human eyes should ever have to see that. It took us about 2 hours, but it was finally livable again. Then we went on a shopping excursion to Surangles and got some clothes! Lots of fun! I suppose we got other boring things like food, but no one wants to know about that. We also finalized our plans for Christmas break! Tami, Jeanine, Austin and I have decided to go to Manila! We originally wanted all the SM's to come with us, but most of the rest have plans. Carl even has his whole family coming to see him! Anyway, we decided that we wanted to go to Manila and started talking to a travel agent to work that out. I'm super excited because I've never been to the Philippiens before! It should be an adventure for sure.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Warning: This is not a drill
Yesterday was the best day I've had since coming to Palau! Enhanced by the fact that my dad was here, it was exciting and spectacular. We started off at 8 am and headed down to Surangel's dock. We were supposed to leave (my dad, the other sm's, and I) at around 8:30, but didn't actually leave until 10! There was engine trouble so we just sat around and talked and walked to Sams for a while. Even though we waited for a while, it was still a nice little break. When we finally got the boat started, we headed off to the Milky Way! It was amazing! It was the first time I've been there and it wasn't really what I expected. It was a lagoon of white, sulfur-like, sand that covered tons of the ocean floor. It was fun to rub it all over our faces and arms and other people! Then, of course, we started a sand fight! I was having such a good time, and just hit Jeff in the face, when suddenly I felt a venomous, shooting, pain in my foot. Hundreds of tiny spikes were sticking out of my left foot! Apparently, a crafty sea urchin was hiding under the sand and decided to shoot my foot with his spines. It was quite unpleasant pulling all the thorns from my foot. It almost felt like having lye in my veins, and you could see red tracks as the poison moved through my system.
After that wonderful adventure, we headed off to shark island! We docked and let a few people off for lunch, and the rest of us went to drop off a few boys to go spear fishing and head to jellyfish lake! It was fun hiking up and down back to the lake, and I couldn't wait to show dad the jellyfish! It wasn't a bad day, with the sun just peaking out from behind the clouds. There were tons of jellyfish, so I got to take tons of pictures of my dad and I playing with them! Right as we started swimming back to the dock it started pouring rain! There was tons of sheets of rain pounding down on the lake, making it look really cool! When we left jellyfish lake we headed to clam city. It was about this time that I noticed that my foot was turning black. Nelson said not to worry about it, so I just ignored the pain and kept having fun. There were tons of giant clams at clam city which we got to enjoy. Our last stop was cemetery to feed the fish. There were even more than last time! They were swarming all around us and bumping into us all the time. For some reason, we all felt this stinging feeling all around us, so that kind of killed the fun and most of us got out of the water.
Oh man, the way back to Surangles dock is a whole different story. As we got ready to go back, the rain picked up and started pouring. This created waves in the ocean like I couldn't even imagine. We started off sitting on the floor of the boat, but with the boat bouncing off the ocean, our backs were not feeling so great. One bump even threw me so high in the air that I could have been standing. The waves finally got up to 10 feet and we were just trying to coast through without flipping the boat. Everyone was piled onto everyone else, holding on for dear life. It was one of the craziest and scariest moments yet. Sometimes the boat would even get so low that it would almost submerge for a moment, and then pop back up. We took a video, but it's basically just us screaming at the top of our lungs and the rain pelting us. I've never been that we before from the rain- we could have been swimming. Then, the second we got out of the huge 10 foot swells and back to calmer water, the boat ran out of gas! We had a reserve packed, but thank goodness that we didn't run out in the middle of the ocean, or we'd all be dead. That's how crazy the waves were!
After that long adventure we finally made it back to SDA. I got to hang out with my dad a little more before he had to leave to get ready to go to the airport. Even though I was really sad to see him leave, I was super happy that I could share that day with him because it was so incredible! Plus, now I have someone to confirm what sounds like a made up story- it's not!
Lately, I've been praying a lot for the future. Mainly because I don't know what kind of things are in store. Whether it's the near future, going to Yap, Japan, or Manila for Christmas break, or the further future, what to do with the rest of my life and how to accomplish all the things I want to. I just feel like life is SO SHORT. It's funny because people who were SM's here in the past said that the time goes so slow until Christmas, and then it goes fast. For me, it's already flying by and I can't imagine it going any faster then it is. I don't want it to! I want it to take as long as possible for it to get to tomorrow. Even though I miss Walla Walla so much, nothing in the world can compare to today, last weekend, and all the amazing memories that are waiting for me to make.
After that wonderful adventure, we headed off to shark island! We docked and let a few people off for lunch, and the rest of us went to drop off a few boys to go spear fishing and head to jellyfish lake! It was fun hiking up and down back to the lake, and I couldn't wait to show dad the jellyfish! It wasn't a bad day, with the sun just peaking out from behind the clouds. There were tons of jellyfish, so I got to take tons of pictures of my dad and I playing with them! Right as we started swimming back to the dock it started pouring rain! There was tons of sheets of rain pounding down on the lake, making it look really cool! When we left jellyfish lake we headed to clam city. It was about this time that I noticed that my foot was turning black. Nelson said not to worry about it, so I just ignored the pain and kept having fun. There were tons of giant clams at clam city which we got to enjoy. Our last stop was cemetery to feed the fish. There were even more than last time! They were swarming all around us and bumping into us all the time. For some reason, we all felt this stinging feeling all around us, so that kind of killed the fun and most of us got out of the water.
Oh man, the way back to Surangles dock is a whole different story. As we got ready to go back, the rain picked up and started pouring. This created waves in the ocean like I couldn't even imagine. We started off sitting on the floor of the boat, but with the boat bouncing off the ocean, our backs were not feeling so great. One bump even threw me so high in the air that I could have been standing. The waves finally got up to 10 feet and we were just trying to coast through without flipping the boat. Everyone was piled onto everyone else, holding on for dear life. It was one of the craziest and scariest moments yet. Sometimes the boat would even get so low that it would almost submerge for a moment, and then pop back up. We took a video, but it's basically just us screaming at the top of our lungs and the rain pelting us. I've never been that we before from the rain- we could have been swimming. Then, the second we got out of the huge 10 foot swells and back to calmer water, the boat ran out of gas! We had a reserve packed, but thank goodness that we didn't run out in the middle of the ocean, or we'd all be dead. That's how crazy the waves were!
After that long adventure we finally made it back to SDA. I got to hang out with my dad a little more before he had to leave to get ready to go to the airport. Even though I was really sad to see him leave, I was super happy that I could share that day with him because it was so incredible! Plus, now I have someone to confirm what sounds like a made up story- it's not!
Lately, I've been praying a lot for the future. Mainly because I don't know what kind of things are in store. Whether it's the near future, going to Yap, Japan, or Manila for Christmas break, or the further future, what to do with the rest of my life and how to accomplish all the things I want to. I just feel like life is SO SHORT. It's funny because people who were SM's here in the past said that the time goes so slow until Christmas, and then it goes fast. For me, it's already flying by and I can't imagine it going any faster then it is. I don't want it to! I want it to take as long as possible for it to get to tomorrow. Even though I miss Walla Walla so much, nothing in the world can compare to today, last weekend, and all the amazing memories that are waiting for me to make.
Friday, October 7, 2011
What is love? (Baby, don't hurt me...)
Love (noun, verb)- Deep, enduring, passionate, emotional regard.
Did you know that in the Bible the word love is used 508 times? FIVE HUNDRED AND EIGHT. If people didn't notice the pattern, I don't know how many more times would help. In Matthew 22 its says that the greatest commandment is to "love the Lord your God with all your heart. And the second is like it, love your neighbor as yourself". God gives us the most important thing in our life. He tells us what life is all about. Love. It's not about the logistics. It's not about the way she dresses or the way he talks. It's about God, you, and others. Love for God means you'll respect the laws He gave you, the 10 commandments. Love for others is a different thing completely. He didn't say to love your family. He didn't say to love your friends. He didn't say to love other Adventist. He didn't say to love people that think like us. He didn't say love the people who love us first. He said love your neighbor. Your neighbor is anyone you are "near", which is everyone you have in contact with.
Sometimes I want to go to the extreme. I want to sell my stuff, drop out of school, and go to Africa. I want to meet people, tell them about God, and help people who need it. What is the point of life if not to bring as many people close to God as possible. Sometimes it seems so useless to be in the American lifestyle. People learn in school to get a job. They get a job to get money. They get money to buy stuff. In 100 years, stuff will have no meaning. Things are just things, what can they do for you? Imagining a life where I wouldn't work to get money to get things is crazy. It's not what people do. Is it what God would want? I struggle with this because there are parts of the United States that need someone to share God's love more then in Tanzania. I could be so much more beneficial where I was and I didn't even know it. Why is it so hard to be a radical Christian? I could, right now, go out on the street and tell people that Jesus loves them and died for them. I could invite strangers to church. I could use all my money to buy Bibles and pass them out in the street. But I don't. What I want to know is why I don't. What stops me from being a radical Christian. I never have the urge to invite the cashier at Surangles to church. I don't plan on telling my bank teller that God loves him. What is the reason that is so hard for us? People have screamed the name of Jesus until they couldn't talk anymore. People have been burned alive for refusing to be silent.
It's scary to think about these things because I might actually do something about it. It's possible that as you read this, you're thinking that I'm crazy. You're saying to yourself "This girl is taking it a little too far. You can just minister where you are. What kind of person would say these kind of things?". It's possible that you disagree with every word I type. To say these things to myself makes them real. What would the people I know, the people that are reading this, think, if I never came home. What would people say if from Palau I kept moving around the world. They would call me crazy. "I can't believe she did that"! Though this is most likely not going to happen, I like to ask myself "why not?". I also like to remind myself of these moments whenever I can. I like to remind myself to live radically for God. What is sharing God's love? Telling people about it! Living out the life that God wants us to have. Life is too short not to love people.
Did you know that in the Bible the word love is used 508 times? FIVE HUNDRED AND EIGHT. If people didn't notice the pattern, I don't know how many more times would help. In Matthew 22 its says that the greatest commandment is to "love the Lord your God with all your heart. And the second is like it, love your neighbor as yourself". God gives us the most important thing in our life. He tells us what life is all about. Love. It's not about the logistics. It's not about the way she dresses or the way he talks. It's about God, you, and others. Love for God means you'll respect the laws He gave you, the 10 commandments. Love for others is a different thing completely. He didn't say to love your family. He didn't say to love your friends. He didn't say to love other Adventist. He didn't say to love people that think like us. He didn't say love the people who love us first. He said love your neighbor. Your neighbor is anyone you are "near", which is everyone you have in contact with.
Sometimes I want to go to the extreme. I want to sell my stuff, drop out of school, and go to Africa. I want to meet people, tell them about God, and help people who need it. What is the point of life if not to bring as many people close to God as possible. Sometimes it seems so useless to be in the American lifestyle. People learn in school to get a job. They get a job to get money. They get money to buy stuff. In 100 years, stuff will have no meaning. Things are just things, what can they do for you? Imagining a life where I wouldn't work to get money to get things is crazy. It's not what people do. Is it what God would want? I struggle with this because there are parts of the United States that need someone to share God's love more then in Tanzania. I could be so much more beneficial where I was and I didn't even know it. Why is it so hard to be a radical Christian? I could, right now, go out on the street and tell people that Jesus loves them and died for them. I could invite strangers to church. I could use all my money to buy Bibles and pass them out in the street. But I don't. What I want to know is why I don't. What stops me from being a radical Christian. I never have the urge to invite the cashier at Surangles to church. I don't plan on telling my bank teller that God loves him. What is the reason that is so hard for us? People have screamed the name of Jesus until they couldn't talk anymore. People have been burned alive for refusing to be silent.
It's scary to think about these things because I might actually do something about it. It's possible that as you read this, you're thinking that I'm crazy. You're saying to yourself "This girl is taking it a little too far. You can just minister where you are. What kind of person would say these kind of things?". It's possible that you disagree with every word I type. To say these things to myself makes them real. What would the people I know, the people that are reading this, think, if I never came home. What would people say if from Palau I kept moving around the world. They would call me crazy. "I can't believe she did that"! Though this is most likely not going to happen, I like to ask myself "why not?". I also like to remind myself of these moments whenever I can. I like to remind myself to live radically for God. What is sharing God's love? Telling people about it! Living out the life that God wants us to have. Life is too short not to love people.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Paid in love
Having my dad here is such a spirit lifter! It feels like I'm at home, which is both happy and sad. It's happy because I love being home and I love having part of my family here with me. It's sad because I wasn't missing home at all until I saw my dad, and now I do. I guess it's just part of what comes with seeing family. After a long day of school, plus staff meetings, it was nice to go to Emimalea and eat a nice dinner in a place I get to share with him. My kids love him! He brings them lollypops every day and they just adore "Miss Chelsea's dad". Of course his hilarious stories in chapel don't hurt. Everyone from Kinder to 12th grade love to hear about the giant pig in the road and how he threw up in his regulator.
Yesterday a woman came up to me that I met at the beginning of the year. The first week of school I talked to her about finding an english tutor for her daughter, a junior in high school. They're Korean, so she's trying to learn english better for some ESL test at the end of the year. After talking to her mom for about 20 minutes, I became the caretaker for this girl. As it ended up, she needed somone to tutor her daughter from 6-7 pm every night, and then just hang out with her until 9 pm. I honestly didn't know what to say to her, but decided that's what missionaries do, so I said yes. It should be interesting teaching english when I don't even know all the rules. It should be even more interesting hanging out with an exchange student from 6-9 every night, but who knows what will come out of it.
Sitting in staff meeting today, watching the Harry Wong video, I realized that I love teaching. I can't wait to see my kids in the morning, I love watching them understand new concepts during the day, and I look foreward to their goodbye hugs every afternoon. I love planning new and exciting things to do and ways to help them learn. It's really exciting to see other teachers copy things I do in class! Dina had me teach her De-Bug, and today I saw Joy sending her kids on a treasure hunt! I just feel like I matter here, and its a nice feeling to have. Unconditional love is a nice feeling. I know I'll have that from my family forever, but these kids don't have to love me, but they do. No matter what they do to get in trouble or if I give them extra recess or not, they always have hugs and "I love you teacher" for me. Today I recieved an apple, ham sandwhich, cheetos, and strawberry cookies. The life of the teacher is a blessed! Maybe not paid in money, but love and food is priceless!
Yesterday a woman came up to me that I met at the beginning of the year. The first week of school I talked to her about finding an english tutor for her daughter, a junior in high school. They're Korean, so she's trying to learn english better for some ESL test at the end of the year. After talking to her mom for about 20 minutes, I became the caretaker for this girl. As it ended up, she needed somone to tutor her daughter from 6-7 pm every night, and then just hang out with her until 9 pm. I honestly didn't know what to say to her, but decided that's what missionaries do, so I said yes. It should be interesting teaching english when I don't even know all the rules. It should be even more interesting hanging out with an exchange student from 6-9 every night, but who knows what will come out of it.
Sitting in staff meeting today, watching the Harry Wong video, I realized that I love teaching. I can't wait to see my kids in the morning, I love watching them understand new concepts during the day, and I look foreward to their goodbye hugs every afternoon. I love planning new and exciting things to do and ways to help them learn. It's really exciting to see other teachers copy things I do in class! Dina had me teach her De-Bug, and today I saw Joy sending her kids on a treasure hunt! I just feel like I matter here, and its a nice feeling to have. Unconditional love is a nice feeling. I know I'll have that from my family forever, but these kids don't have to love me, but they do. No matter what they do to get in trouble or if I give them extra recess or not, they always have hugs and "I love you teacher" for me. Today I recieved an apple, ham sandwhich, cheetos, and strawberry cookies. The life of the teacher is a blessed! Maybe not paid in money, but love and food is priceless!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
In the past few days
Sorry for not writing sooner but it's been a busy week.
Thursday- School went on a like normal, but after school we had a staff party. We celebrated all the birthdays in the months of July-September with a delicious potluck and cake! I got to play basketball with some of the staff kids and other staff. We also just got to talk and hang out until badminton. They school always lets the community use the gym for badminton on Tuesdays and Thursday and they came and kicked us out. We decided to stay and watch for a little while and a lady came with a parrot on her shoulder. She was feeding him straight from her mouth! And she set up a little line for him to sit on and watch her play badminton. When we finally got up to leave, the parrot flew over and landed on my shoulder! I didn't expect that at all and it made me freak out just a little because he wouldn't get off! We decided to go to Jesse and Hayley's apartment and play Rook for a while, but I only got to play two hands because it was time to go to the airport to pick up my dad! I was so excited all day and we were finally on our way. Waiting by the gate for him to come out was so stressful! I told Nelson and Mesikt that I was going to be calm and play it cool, but as soon as I saw him I ran and jumped into his arms! It was such a happy reunion. Later, Mesikt told me that most Palauans had never seen such a display of affection, which made me laugh. I thought I was playing it cool.
Friday- My dad and I got up early to go diving! We waited in front of the SDA office waiting for Sams to pick us up, but they never came. Luckily, Nelson was there and offered to drive us. There was so much traffic for Palauan Independence Day. When we got there, we found out that my dad actually had to take a refresher diving course because it had been so long since his last dive. I got to dive for free, but it was just around the dock at Sams. It was fun to see my dad relearning some stuff, and actually being the more experienced one for once! The refresher only took a few hours and then we came back to Koror. We walked around and got lunch ad Emimelea which was delicious, and then I showed him all around Koror. We walked all around into shops and through a market they had in honor of Independence day. He kept saying how hot it was and I was laughing because it was so cool! Apparently the typhoons from Taiwan are affecting the weather, because there hasn't been much sun for the past 3 days. Then we came back SDA and I packed up some stuff to stay with my dad at PMA. We got to stay in the house set aside for the pastor which was super nice! Everything was brand new and it had great AC! The only scary part was that the pastor was murdered in that house, but lightning can't strike the same place twice right? RIGHT?! Anyway, after the initial fear was gone, I cooked a delicious dinner of rice noodles and big franks for us which was awesome! It was great getting to catch up and just have a family member here.
Saturday- We got up early, not by choice, and got ready for church. The reason we woke up so early was the dogs barking and the birds chirping back. It wasn't quite mellifluous (vocab word mom!). We did, however, enjoy a wonderful breakfast of fresh mangoes! Then we drove to Koror to go to church. Everyone was really excited to meet my dad and we got to have church together. It was fun to explain my routine to him and have him try to imitate it. In sabbath school we drew pictures of Noah and the ark, and he even drew one, with crayons! It was quite entertaining. After sabbath school we went to church were Louie Torres spoke until about 1 pm. Then we went to potluck! Being a visitor, my dad had to go first, and of course he needed someone to explain the dishes to him! It was one of the best potlucks ever! After potluck we were planning to go to prison ministries, but instead ended up sitting in the potluck room talking to Carl for three and a half hours. My dad knows tons of people from Southern where Carl goes, and that just opened a whole new can of worms. They also talked about some other great stuff about religion. When it finally got to be 5 pm, Nelson told us that my dad was moving to a house right by SDA, so we had to go get all of his stuff. On the plus side he let me drive! Driving on the right side of the car is pretty much the same as the left, except the windshield button and blinkers are on opposite sides. We got all his stuff and brought it to the new house he would be staying in, and when we turned on the lights, a GIANT cockroach was sitting on the floor. It took two huge stomps from my dad to kill him with a sickening crunch. After that we went out to dinner with Tami and Jeanine to Rock Island Cafe which was so fun. We couldn't stop laughing and just talked the whole time.
Sunday-Diving take two. We got up early and drove over to Sams to go diving. They were supposed to pick us up but we weren't going to risk it. We got all our equipment together and headed out to Ulong Channel. After a one minute briefing, we hopped in! The reef was indescribable. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced in my whole life. There were millions of fish and at least 10 sharks! We just sat and watched them for a while, but they were still pretty far away and only about 4 feet long. We saw huge puffer fish and other fish that were half my size. There was so much sea life and beauty that I didn't want to go up. The current was really strong, so at our safety stop we were getting thrown around like crazy. After the first dive, we went to our second spot. It was basically just jumping into the ocean, and going down to about 70 feet to look at a reef. This reef started at about 30 feet and went down to like 150 feet. It was so incredible that it beat Unlong Channel! It was so full of life and animals! We saw so many colorful fish and a turtle! Near the end, there was a group of sharks coming near us. They were probably around 6 feet and looked like a in a scary movie. Of course, I had to follow them. At one point I got only a few feet from a big one, but then he turned and I saw his teeth, and that was the end of that. I realized that I was down to about 700 on air so we headed back up to the surface. For lunch we went to Ulong beach where Survivor:Palau was filmed! That was super exciting because I watched every episode of that show! It was fun to walk around and see where they lived. It was a fantastic day!
Thursday- School went on a like normal, but after school we had a staff party. We celebrated all the birthdays in the months of July-September with a delicious potluck and cake! I got to play basketball with some of the staff kids and other staff. We also just got to talk and hang out until badminton. They school always lets the community use the gym for badminton on Tuesdays and Thursday and they came and kicked us out. We decided to stay and watch for a little while and a lady came with a parrot on her shoulder. She was feeding him straight from her mouth! And she set up a little line for him to sit on and watch her play badminton. When we finally got up to leave, the parrot flew over and landed on my shoulder! I didn't expect that at all and it made me freak out just a little because he wouldn't get off! We decided to go to Jesse and Hayley's apartment and play Rook for a while, but I only got to play two hands because it was time to go to the airport to pick up my dad! I was so excited all day and we were finally on our way. Waiting by the gate for him to come out was so stressful! I told Nelson and Mesikt that I was going to be calm and play it cool, but as soon as I saw him I ran and jumped into his arms! It was such a happy reunion. Later, Mesikt told me that most Palauans had never seen such a display of affection, which made me laugh. I thought I was playing it cool.
Friday- My dad and I got up early to go diving! We waited in front of the SDA office waiting for Sams to pick us up, but they never came. Luckily, Nelson was there and offered to drive us. There was so much traffic for Palauan Independence Day. When we got there, we found out that my dad actually had to take a refresher diving course because it had been so long since his last dive. I got to dive for free, but it was just around the dock at Sams. It was fun to see my dad relearning some stuff, and actually being the more experienced one for once! The refresher only took a few hours and then we came back to Koror. We walked around and got lunch ad Emimelea which was delicious, and then I showed him all around Koror. We walked all around into shops and through a market they had in honor of Independence day. He kept saying how hot it was and I was laughing because it was so cool! Apparently the typhoons from Taiwan are affecting the weather, because there hasn't been much sun for the past 3 days. Then we came back SDA and I packed up some stuff to stay with my dad at PMA. We got to stay in the house set aside for the pastor which was super nice! Everything was brand new and it had great AC! The only scary part was that the pastor was murdered in that house, but lightning can't strike the same place twice right? RIGHT?! Anyway, after the initial fear was gone, I cooked a delicious dinner of rice noodles and big franks for us which was awesome! It was great getting to catch up and just have a family member here.
Saturday- We got up early, not by choice, and got ready for church. The reason we woke up so early was the dogs barking and the birds chirping back. It wasn't quite mellifluous (vocab word mom!). We did, however, enjoy a wonderful breakfast of fresh mangoes! Then we drove to Koror to go to church. Everyone was really excited to meet my dad and we got to have church together. It was fun to explain my routine to him and have him try to imitate it. In sabbath school we drew pictures of Noah and the ark, and he even drew one, with crayons! It was quite entertaining. After sabbath school we went to church were Louie Torres spoke until about 1 pm. Then we went to potluck! Being a visitor, my dad had to go first, and of course he needed someone to explain the dishes to him! It was one of the best potlucks ever! After potluck we were planning to go to prison ministries, but instead ended up sitting in the potluck room talking to Carl for three and a half hours. My dad knows tons of people from Southern where Carl goes, and that just opened a whole new can of worms. They also talked about some other great stuff about religion. When it finally got to be 5 pm, Nelson told us that my dad was moving to a house right by SDA, so we had to go get all of his stuff. On the plus side he let me drive! Driving on the right side of the car is pretty much the same as the left, except the windshield button and blinkers are on opposite sides. We got all his stuff and brought it to the new house he would be staying in, and when we turned on the lights, a GIANT cockroach was sitting on the floor. It took two huge stomps from my dad to kill him with a sickening crunch. After that we went out to dinner with Tami and Jeanine to Rock Island Cafe which was so fun. We couldn't stop laughing and just talked the whole time.
Sunday-Diving take two. We got up early and drove over to Sams to go diving. They were supposed to pick us up but we weren't going to risk it. We got all our equipment together and headed out to Ulong Channel. After a one minute briefing, we hopped in! The reef was indescribable. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced in my whole life. There were millions of fish and at least 10 sharks! We just sat and watched them for a while, but they were still pretty far away and only about 4 feet long. We saw huge puffer fish and other fish that were half my size. There was so much sea life and beauty that I didn't want to go up. The current was really strong, so at our safety stop we were getting thrown around like crazy. After the first dive, we went to our second spot. It was basically just jumping into the ocean, and going down to about 70 feet to look at a reef. This reef started at about 30 feet and went down to like 150 feet. It was so incredible that it beat Unlong Channel! It was so full of life and animals! We saw so many colorful fish and a turtle! Near the end, there was a group of sharks coming near us. They were probably around 6 feet and looked like a in a scary movie. Of course, I had to follow them. At one point I got only a few feet from a big one, but then he turned and I saw his teeth, and that was the end of that. I realized that I was down to about 700 on air so we headed back up to the surface. For lunch we went to Ulong beach where Survivor:Palau was filmed! That was super exciting because I watched every episode of that show! It was fun to walk around and see where they lived. It was a fantastic day!
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