Affirming my choice to be happy, I got a package today! I've been waiting for the package Redwood sent me for a few weeks now and it's finally here! I was surprised how quickly it brought me to tears just knowing that people put together a box for me, and it was so much better after I opened it! There was a tape recorder with the Redwood kids singing Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, and America the Beautiful. There was also a DVD with a video of them and I got to see my sister! That was quite exciting! Just hearing them talk brought me back to the feeling that I was home. I also got some amazing food and cool stuff that my kids will love. It's just what I needed after a long, rainy day.
Though were not doing a skit, my kids and I practiced singing today because they have chapel on Wednesday. After Bible I attempted to teach them counting money in math, but some kids really can't see that a quarter and nickel are NOT the same size! After Math they had Palauan so I got a break! After running up to the apartment to grab breakfast, I just sat in the gym and stared out at the kids playing. They are all so happy and stress free. I really love the kids here. Every time they see me they scream "Hi Miss Chelsea!" or run to give me a hug. Weather it's a kindergartner, 3rd grader, or even an 8th grader, they still make time to say hi and give you a smile. After that my kids came out of Palauan and they had recess and PE. For once, no one got hurt in kickball! One boy cried, but you can't win them all. After PE, I realized that unfortunately, my AC was not working today. Luckily, it was what the kids consider a "cold day". They all came to school in heavy jackets and boots. There was MAYBE a light breeze and it was a rainy 80 degrees. I laughed to think of what they would do in Washington. The other annoying thing about the rain is that my roof leaks right over my desk! Too bad today the grades folder was in that spot...oh well. At least it wasn't my computer. Anyway, we started phonics in a AC-less classroom and then spelling. Lunch time! The best time of the day! Not really...but I got a nice hot pocket from my Palauan mom and my kids didn't spill any food! Did I ever mention that I got two new kids? Daichi and Ivan came last week, and so far so good, so that's a blessing!
After lunch I gave them a quick recess before starting social studies where we drew pictures of animals in the forest. Then we did reading and dreaded skilpack. I only gave them one page today, but it still took them 20 minutes. Then they had their last recess to get all their energy out! Some girls from 2B came over and we had piggy back time! Then we went in and did handwriting, and a long language assignment! They complained, but they all got it done and did it's correctly. I had them read science in their heads and quizzed them before they could clean up to go home. Then I went into the gym to do PE for Tami's 6th grade class. They didn't want to play soccer, but eventually started playing after I promised free time later. A few of them just came and sat beside me and we talked about life and stuff that I could never talk to my 7 year olds about. It was really fun and they even asked me to be their teacher! I think it was a joke...
As I write this all it seems like my day was so short, but it was not at all. Even though I enjoy what I'm doing, it still does not go by as quickly as I would like. On the up side, the package came and I even cooked myself dinner. Usually I just have some crackers or juice, but today I made ramen. Don't laugh. I know it sounds weak, but I cut up meat and mixed it in and vegetables too. It was quite scrumptious. MOM, I ATE A VITAMIN. Just letting you know. Oh, another thing I'm excited for: my mom is coming here in 18 days! That is my fuel right now. Mom'scomingMom'scomingMom'scoming!
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Finally getting some pictures to upload!
yes, that's the real color of the water
my little angels :]
At the Milky Way :]
Legit face when a crab pinched me
Jellyfish Lake is amazing
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Where your treasure lies
Once again my doubts and fears are short lived. How could anyone be unhappy in Palau? I've come to the realization that my kids need me. Parent teacher conferences went so well and it was really helpful to hear all about my kid's backgrounds. I loved meeting their parents and hearing their thoughts. I even got a "thank-you" for being such a good teaching. It's nice to be appreciated. I've also realized what amazing friends I really do have. Though I'm not there with them this year, they make an effort to keep in touch and it honestly makes me happy. I'm having this amazing experience that's changing my life, and I know that it's meant to be. I feel that I am here for a reason, even if it's not what I wanted. I know why I'm here. God wants me to change someones life, but it might be someone who is SMing here instead of someone who was already here. It's funny how sometimes our purpose is right in front of us, and we try to force something that isn't right for us.
I've always been the kind of person who likes to know what's coming in the future. At this point, being a missionary is the greatest satisfaction with life I've ever had. I really love having this chance to do something for someone other than myself. I love getting to know new people that made the same decision as me. I love walking down the street and waving to people because the whole island knows me. I love jumping into the water in 90 degree weather and feeling the same temperature. Things work out. If I had never come here I wouldn't know how much I love education. I wouldn't have realized how much my view on America could change. Just living with two Europeans for a year has totally flipped my view on American and how other view us. It really changes priorities and I can see what has value and what is supposed to have value. People. Experiences. Lives. Those things are important.
I've always been the kind of person who likes to know what's coming in the future. At this point, being a missionary is the greatest satisfaction with life I've ever had. I really love having this chance to do something for someone other than myself. I love getting to know new people that made the same decision as me. I love walking down the street and waving to people because the whole island knows me. I love jumping into the water in 90 degree weather and feeling the same temperature. Things work out. If I had never come here I wouldn't know how much I love education. I wouldn't have realized how much my view on America could change. Just living with two Europeans for a year has totally flipped my view on American and how other view us. It really changes priorities and I can see what has value and what is supposed to have value. People. Experiences. Lives. Those things are important.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Alone in this fight with herself...
It's funny how sometimes you can feel completely right, like you're doing what you are meant to and other times it seems like making all the wrong decisions led to this place where you shouldn't be. I know that I need to be here in Palau. I've known since Sophomore year of high school, when I told my dad one day I'd go to Palau, that eventually I'd end up here. But as a missionary? What am I doing here? How is my small contribution doing anything at all for the people who live in Palau.
I'm being torn into. I have exactly half of me that has a sickening, sinking feeling that I made all the wrong decision. Maybe I shouldn't have broken up with my boyfriend. Maybe I shouldn't have taken a year off of school to come to a place that doesn't really need me. Maybe all my friends already forgot who I am. Maybe life goes on, weather or not I'm there. I feel so invisible. My sister turned 18 and I missed it. My friends are making new friends and I'm sure that I am just a lingering thought of the past. My life last year was perfect. I had great jobs, great friends, great boyfriend, and a great track for a great career. Now what do I have? I have 16 wide-eyed 2nd graders, the expectation of perfection, and uncertainty. Why did I give up my old life for this?
"Alone in this fight with herself, with the fears whispering If she stands, she'll fall down". This is what just played through my computer. I am battling myself because the other side of me is wrapped up in Palau. I am completely in love with everything about it. This is my home. I love the people, I love the weather, I love the island. As I told my dad when he came to visit, I feel that Palau is a little closer to Heaven than the rest of the world. Not literally, but there are so few distractions and so much more time for God. That also means that there is a lot more time alone with yourself.
I feel like I'm not doing enough. Should I be giving Bible studies? Should I volunteer to feed the poor? Why don't I feel like someones only hope for salvation? Why don't I feel like I'm needed?
I'm being torn into. I have exactly half of me that has a sickening, sinking feeling that I made all the wrong decision. Maybe I shouldn't have broken up with my boyfriend. Maybe I shouldn't have taken a year off of school to come to a place that doesn't really need me. Maybe all my friends already forgot who I am. Maybe life goes on, weather or not I'm there. I feel so invisible. My sister turned 18 and I missed it. My friends are making new friends and I'm sure that I am just a lingering thought of the past. My life last year was perfect. I had great jobs, great friends, great boyfriend, and a great track for a great career. Now what do I have? I have 16 wide-eyed 2nd graders, the expectation of perfection, and uncertainty. Why did I give up my old life for this?
"Alone in this fight with herself, with the fears whispering If she stands, she'll fall down". This is what just played through my computer. I am battling myself because the other side of me is wrapped up in Palau. I am completely in love with everything about it. This is my home. I love the people, I love the weather, I love the island. As I told my dad when he came to visit, I feel that Palau is a little closer to Heaven than the rest of the world. Not literally, but there are so few distractions and so much more time for God. That also means that there is a lot more time alone with yourself.
I feel like I'm not doing enough. Should I be giving Bible studies? Should I volunteer to feed the poor? Why don't I feel like someones only hope for salvation? Why don't I feel like I'm needed?
Friday, October 21, 2011
Battling the enemy
Sweat mixes with smell of fear as he prepares for battle. His tiny eyes assess the war zone. Though defeat is certain, a small, lingering thought of victory gives him hope. The plan is simple; pretend to be dead until the enemy felt comfortable, then attack. As he lays in wait, he thinks to himself how good his plan is. Though laying on his back exposes his most vital organs to the enemy, he is ready to flip in a moments notice. Staying still in one position so long is relaxing, and after a few minutes he drifts off to sleep. Then, the senses are pushed to the max all at once. Hearing:a piercing scream that threatens to deafen him from the start, rupturing his eardrums in an instant. Seeing: a stream of liquid pours down on him, filling his eyes and burning his sight away forever. Feeling: a flood so massive covering his body, so all he can do is writhe on the floor, trying to flip on to his stomach as he is plastered to the ground. Smelling: is nose is filled with liquid, causing his breath to sputter and stop suddenly. Tasting: the poisonous spray fills his mouth, lungs, and the rest of his body, trying to end him as quickly as possible. Though he should be dead, for the next five minutes he twitches and tries to move, causing the enemy to repeat the screaming and spraying cycle. The hard life of a cockroach.
For the past six days, each morning there has been a lone cockroach laying on our kitchen floor. We don't know why it happens every morning, and we don't know why there is always just one left behind. Though they appear dead, we spray them to be sure and always find that they are not. Comparatively, these cockroaches aren't as bad as the ones that sprint across our kitchen counters, hoping to get to safety before we spot them and destroy them. Ah, the life in Palau. In other news, yesterday our traditional Friday trip to Emimalea was slightly different than normal. After finishing with lunch, Tami and I left Ben and Jeanine so we could run over to the bakery and get some bread. While picking out what we wanted a man came and started talking to us. He was...very friendly. He asked about where we were from and once he heard San Francisco, proclaimed that he lived there for 20 years and loved the "city of love". At this point a VERY angry woman came out of the back room, and he introduced her as his wife. She promptly responded by punching him in the face as hard as she possibly could and stormed off. Then, after getting over our shock, we went to pay. Once we got to the counter there was a lady there, and she told us that she would pay for everything we wanted, and for us to get more stuff. Apparently she's a member of the Koror SDA church and just wanted to do something nice for us. It was cool!
Today, Saturday, was pathfinder sabbath at church. It was actually amazing what a great job they did, especially Jeff and Misty for leading it out. They have put so much work into the pathfinders, and you can see how it's changing the kids. There were probably 60 kids ready to be inducted into the pathfinder club. After church Tami and I went to PMA with the guys and got to hang out. It was lots of fun because Victor and Chris just got a new puppy! It's the most adorable thing I've ever seen! Her name is Novea. It was so fun playing with her, and she was just so cute! Then, one of my student Shayne, let me play with her puppy Choco. After Tami and I took a nap, and when we woke up, Austin had ANOTHER puppy. Where are they all coming from!? I decided that no matter what, I was keeping the puppy that Austin had, even though his tail got cut off. Poor puppy. Apparently me wanting to keep the puppy made Austin want to keep it too, so alas, I still have no puppy. Not to worry though, I will get one soon enough. I even got permission from Jeanine! I even already picked out a name...
For the past six days, each morning there has been a lone cockroach laying on our kitchen floor. We don't know why it happens every morning, and we don't know why there is always just one left behind. Though they appear dead, we spray them to be sure and always find that they are not. Comparatively, these cockroaches aren't as bad as the ones that sprint across our kitchen counters, hoping to get to safety before we spot them and destroy them. Ah, the life in Palau. In other news, yesterday our traditional Friday trip to Emimalea was slightly different than normal. After finishing with lunch, Tami and I left Ben and Jeanine so we could run over to the bakery and get some bread. While picking out what we wanted a man came and started talking to us. He was...very friendly. He asked about where we were from and once he heard San Francisco, proclaimed that he lived there for 20 years and loved the "city of love". At this point a VERY angry woman came out of the back room, and he introduced her as his wife. She promptly responded by punching him in the face as hard as she possibly could and stormed off. Then, after getting over our shock, we went to pay. Once we got to the counter there was a lady there, and she told us that she would pay for everything we wanted, and for us to get more stuff. Apparently she's a member of the Koror SDA church and just wanted to do something nice for us. It was cool!
Today, Saturday, was pathfinder sabbath at church. It was actually amazing what a great job they did, especially Jeff and Misty for leading it out. They have put so much work into the pathfinders, and you can see how it's changing the kids. There were probably 60 kids ready to be inducted into the pathfinder club. After church Tami and I went to PMA with the guys and got to hang out. It was lots of fun because Victor and Chris just got a new puppy! It's the most adorable thing I've ever seen! Her name is Novea. It was so fun playing with her, and she was just so cute! Then, one of my student Shayne, let me play with her puppy Choco. After Tami and I took a nap, and when we woke up, Austin had ANOTHER puppy. Where are they all coming from!? I decided that no matter what, I was keeping the puppy that Austin had, even though his tail got cut off. Poor puppy. Apparently me wanting to keep the puppy made Austin want to keep it too, so alas, I still have no puppy. Not to worry though, I will get one soon enough. I even got permission from Jeanine! I even already picked out a name...
Monday, October 17, 2011
I know it's been a while
I know as time goes on, my blogs are few and far between, but honestly there isn't much to share. Don't get me wrong, Palau is spectacualr. It's just repedative. Each day I wake up, go to school, go back home, eat lunch, tutor, and either go to basketball or church meetings. Life isn't exactly boring, but it's just predictable. This last weekend I decided to change that. Saturday after church and a nap, Jeanine, Tami, and I went with Austin to go surfing. Unfortunately it was too far away, so we ended up swimming in a channel nearby that one third grader informed me was sewage. Lovely. It was still fun, and quite refreshing. That evening, we decided to go out to eat at RIC which was a great time and only made better by our hyperness. Tami and I sprinted down the road singing "we are soldiers", "ain't no rock", and numerous other Christian songs. It was quite enjoyable. Needless to say, we were extremly awake and found ourselves sitting on my bed at 2 am not wanting to go to bed...we at least I didn't. I finally convinced them that we needed to go swimming. Because they're not needed, let's just skip the details of that evening and go on to the next morning.
After going to bed at 4 am, I thought I'd be able to sleep in on Sunday, but sadly this was not the case. I woke up at 7 and waited for Tami and Jeanine to wake up until noon! Then we tackeled the extremly hard task of cleaning our apartment. Let's just say that no human eyes should ever have to see that. It took us about 2 hours, but it was finally livable again. Then we went on a shopping excursion to Surangles and got some clothes! Lots of fun! I suppose we got other boring things like food, but no one wants to know about that. We also finalized our plans for Christmas break! Tami, Jeanine, Austin and I have decided to go to Manila! We originally wanted all the SM's to come with us, but most of the rest have plans. Carl even has his whole family coming to see him! Anyway, we decided that we wanted to go to Manila and started talking to a travel agent to work that out. I'm super excited because I've never been to the Philippiens before! It should be an adventure for sure.
After going to bed at 4 am, I thought I'd be able to sleep in on Sunday, but sadly this was not the case. I woke up at 7 and waited for Tami and Jeanine to wake up until noon! Then we tackeled the extremly hard task of cleaning our apartment. Let's just say that no human eyes should ever have to see that. It took us about 2 hours, but it was finally livable again. Then we went on a shopping excursion to Surangles and got some clothes! Lots of fun! I suppose we got other boring things like food, but no one wants to know about that. We also finalized our plans for Christmas break! Tami, Jeanine, Austin and I have decided to go to Manila! We originally wanted all the SM's to come with us, but most of the rest have plans. Carl even has his whole family coming to see him! Anyway, we decided that we wanted to go to Manila and started talking to a travel agent to work that out. I'm super excited because I've never been to the Philippiens before! It should be an adventure for sure.
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