Inspiration

Inspiration is like lightning, cliche but true. Fine, how about this...Inspiration is like walking down the street and falling face first into a manhole that is filled with grape soda; unexpected and life changing. Life is so delicate. I'm sure that I'm not the only person who has a moment and vows to change their life. It's the moment that inspires that decision that I'm interested in. What causes a person to change their whole outlook on life and decide to be different? For me, it's Palau. Here. Now. This is the most indescribable experience I have ever had in my life. There are so many components that all mix together to equal my life right now. I'm inspired by the honesty of other SM's. I'm inspired by children laughing. I'm inspired ants crawling all over my clothes (while I'm wearing them), only feeling hot water once in a month, and the yummy onion and fish casserole that is always at potluck. There are so many things that I want to do with my life, and it's great because I'm 19! I have forever to do it all! I want to read the whole Bible, cover to cover. I want to lose 20 lbs. I want to travel to every country possible and I want to be an SM again. I want to make an impact. I want to thoroughly enjoy each day of my life. I want to choose a career that makes a difference in people's lives.
In case you want to know, I'm reading some pretty fantastic books right now that I can't help but recommend.
1. Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris. This book changed my life. It helped me decide to come to Palau. It is one of the best books that I have ever read and as soon as I finish I want to read it again. Please, please pick it up if you haven't read it.
2. Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Also, life changing. "By their deeds may you know them...". If you want to open up a whole new part of yourself then read this book. This book will push you, and it's definitely in a good direction.
3. The Shack by Paul Young. This book took my idea of God and put it in a blender. It literally took what assumptions I had about God and threw them out the window. If you think you're open minded, read this book-you will find out that you're not at all. This is a fantastic book about forgiveness and a new look at the trinity.
Anyway! Sorry about that little insert, but I'm really in a good place right now. I almost want to move to a place like this. I want to enjoy the simplicity of a place that is not the United States. Can you imagine no cell phone? No, I thought not. I couldn't before this year! Ask my mom, it was literally extended off my fingers 20/7...yes, I said 20/7 instead of 24/7, because contrary to popular belief, I do sleep sometimes. One month ago, I sent 1000 texts a day. One THOUSAND. It is such a rush to be free. The sad part is that when I go back, I know it'll be a necessity. That is just how it is.
So back to Koror. Today was slightly unusual, but in a fantastic way. I started out waking up at 6 am, 45 minutes too early. Last night I found over 500 ants nested into my clothes. I tried to brush them off, spray them off, wash them off, but no. Even after going through the wash, hundreds of ants were embedded in my clothing! So I woke up because after going to bed at 2, all I could think about was ants crawling all over me. You know how your mind plays tricks on you? Well mine was in overdrive. So, I woke up at 6 to start the 30 minute process of picking ants off my clothes with tweezers. After I was finally ready, I went down to staff worship. Then school began! Worship went well, and we had a new student, Mandy, back from summer vacation. She was so cute and immediately jumped on my lap. After worship we had bible which was great because we just talked about the Garden of Eden and drew a picture. Math went okay, of course I never stood a chance of sitting down because as soon as I answered one question, 4 more hands shot up in the air. After we finally battled through addition of 3 numbers, I got a break to grade when they had Palauan. Then we went to recess where I taught them how to play Ninja! They were so good today! They listened to what I said and seemed like they were actually learning! The day got kind of rocky later on because no one wanted to be Sora's partner in PE, Ichiro hit Makani in the face, Kylie knocked Sora down, and someone told Shayne to shut up. BUT, it was still rather productive and I at least ended the day happy. We took pictures in class which is always fun.
After school we had a staff meeting. We talked about policy, rules, and all the committees that our school has. It only lasted two hours... On the up side, I found out that my dad will most definitely be coming for week of prayer! I also found out that Nelson got us all "native Palauan" passes so we can go to the rock islands, jellyfish lake, and the milky way, for only $5. It includes the rest of the year! After the meeting we went back and made dinner and watched a movie. It was rather relaxing and satisfying. While watching the movie, I talked to a few friends on Facebook. One thing led to another and we ended up discussing why I'm here and what my priorities are. It got me thinking and after the movie I just laid in my bed and listened to music. It was right when my head hit the mattress that I realized that I'm here to shine God's love out of my fingertips. I'm not here for an adventure, though that is what I am having. I'm not here to be sitting in my apartment. I'm not here to go to bed early and not spend time with God. I just thought through my life and all the decisions that brought me up to this point. If you've never done it, it's some experience!
Through my eyes this is what you would see:
The sweat forming tiny beads on my forehead.
The sweat forming tiny beads on a warm glass of water.
Grey towels billowing over the windows for curtains.
The empty bottle of ant killer surrounded by dead ants like a battlefield.
Five different kinds of medicine strewn around my room.
Faded Tom's shoes, covered in water marks.
Laundry shriveling in the humid Palauan air.
Papers needing grading, shoved into a lopsided pile by a worn computer bag.
Snapshots of my life.
This is what I see, so this is what you see.